Do you trust me?

I have to be honest that I have been dragging my feet about writing this post.  On the one hand, I'm thrilled to share how God has been working His miracles to bring everything together quickly for our imminent departure. On the other hand, for me to share with you exactly how He has been working will require a confession on my part...a confession I am frankly embarrassed to make.

In early July, while we were in Texas, we learned that we had been accepted into YWAM's Discipleship Training School in Arusha, Tanzania, starting Sept. 6.  We were thrilled, but wondered how we would raise the rest of our funds, for at that point we were only at 74% of our budget, meaning we needed to raise an additional $42,000 in about 7 weeks.

When we returned from Texas, a friend shared an idea of a potential funding source that would completely cover our remaining needs.  We contacted the people involved in distributing that funding, and based on initial feedback,  we felt certain this was how God was going to provide for us.  We began looking into purchasing tickets and completed visa applications, sure that we would be leaving August 30.  Then, on July 25, five weeks before our hopeful departure date, we learned that the funding source was not going to be available to us as we thought it might.

Here comes my confession.  I got frustrated and lost sight of the God we serve.  I could not see how we could possibly raise $42,000 in five weeks.  I was tired of not knowing what to say when people would ask when we were leaving.   I was tired of living out of half-packed boxes.  I was tired of busting my bootie every day to prepare, when we might still have 6 more months in the States.  I was just plain tired.  And grumpy.  And not fun to be around.  For a whole week.  I complained to just about everyone...except God.  I didn't even feel like talking to Him.

During this whole week, Mei kept pestering me about the calendar.  She has recently been obsessed with our ridiculously full calendar.  Everyday, she wants to know what we're doing, when we're doing it, where we're going, just question after question.  Finally I said to her, "Do you trust me?"  She nodded her sweet little head.  So I replied, "Okay, then quit bugging me.  I have it all under control.  Just stick with me."  Hm.  I heard myself and wondered if this was actually God speaking to me through my own mouth. So instead of continuing to whine, I put out a request for scriptures on facebook, and received some very good words from the Lord.

"The truth is, you will be in Babylon for 70 years.  (I hadn't waited nearly that long!) But then I will come and do for you all the good things I have promised, and I will bring you home again.  For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. (Jer. 29:10-11)

"Be silent, and know that I am God!"  (Psalm 46:10)

"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is the eternal Rock."  (Isaiah 26:3-4)

Finally, I went to Him in prayer, asking forgiveness for my whining.  I made a decision to praise Him no matter what, for He is worthy of praise, even when I don't understand what He is doing.

And this is how He responded to my crying out:  Even while I was being a stinker, moaning and groaning, He had been working on people's hearts to prepare the way for us to go.  I woke the next morning to an email from some friends saying they had just sent a $(very large) check to the church on our behalf for our work in Kenya.  Later that day, another sizable contribution  came from an unexpected source.  Over the next few days, smaller contributions kept rolling in, adding to our goal.  It seemed every time I checked my email, there was more.  Then we were totally caught off guard when a friend's mom pledged a five-digit amount.  That put us at 96%!  Wow.  Talk about humbling.

Last Friday, we were on our way to dinner with friends, and I checked email on the way.  There was an email regarding another pledge from friends that put us over the 100% mark.  When we arrived at dinner, we told our dinner companions that we were at 100%.  They responded with, "Darn. We wanted to be the ones to put you over the top."  And they pledged even more!

We are currently at 107% of our base budget.  We have what we will need to live in a rental house and do the work God calls us to in East Africa for 3-1/2 years.  Additional funding beyond our base budget will go towards building a house on the compound where the Children's Home and Primary School are located.

I am ashamed when I read my journal entries from my week of wallowing.  I realize now that God is ALWAYS worthy of praise.  What we see from our perspective is like the underside of an intricate tapestry.  We see the loose threads and the messy criss-crossing of overlapping designs that are are not quite in focus.  But God sees the glorious artwork that He is creating.  It's not necessarily that every circumstance will turn out lovely and tidy.  No, because our circumstances are not the artwork.  We are.  We are God's masterpiece, created anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things He planned for us long ago (Ephesians 2:10).  And it is through our trials, the refiner's fire, that we will become more like Jesus, perfect and beautiful.

We bought plane tickets today and went in for our travel vaccines. We have already gone through quite a journey to get where we are, but I suspect that in 19 days, the real adventure will begin!  I can't wait to see where He takes us!