Confessions of a Fidagredophobic

So, I’ve been helping Ethan study for the Regional Spelling Bee coming up this weekend. We’ve come across some interesting words made up of various Latin roots, particularly on the phobia list. I am happy to report that I am not omphalophobic (afraid of belly buttons); nor am I arachibutyrophobic (afraid of peanut butter sticking to the roof of my mouth). I could not quite find the right word to describe my current fear, so I made one up.

fid- faith
-gred- to walk or step

Confessional time. My name is Amy and I am a Fidagredophobic. I have some fears about stepping out in faith.

In February of 2009, I went to a women’s seminar where Lysa TerKeurst shared her testimony and challenged us to step out in radical faith. While speaking to her after the seminar, I asked, “But what if God is asking you to do something dangerous, like selling everything and moving to Kenya?” Her wise response was, “The safest place to be is in the very center of God’s will.”

For those of you who have followed this blog from its inception, you know what a profound impact Lysa has had on our family. It was that very night that we acknowledged our convictions and said a simple prayer, “Yes, Lord”. After taking that baby step of faith, doors immediately began opening towards Kenya.

Fast forward 13 months. We’ve now committed to a minimum of three years of ministry at the Kitale Church of Christ Children’s Home. We have raised 61% of our funds. We are planning to leave in August to begin training through YWAM’s Discipleship Training School. We just applied for passports for the kids.

In addition, God has used the past 13 months to peel away various layers of materialism, doubt, and fear. The idea of leaving my comfortable home no longer saddens me as it once did. The doubt of whether God has called the right people to do this job no longer plagues me. The idea of living in Africa with my three children no longer scares me to the same degree it once did. However, there are still layers on this onion, and my current fears orbit around my ability to share the Word of God effectively with those I am going to serve.

I have come to realize that in my “new life”, I will be called upon to speak to women on a regular basis as we reach out to the local community. But speaking in front of people makes me want to run for the Immodium AD! Since I won’t have easy access to medications in Kenya, I’m thinking I need to face my fears.

I have also felt compelled to write down our story, which is unfolding suspiciously into chapters, each followed by Bible Study Questions. I haven’t yet shared this publicly, for fear that someone may actually want to read what I’ve written…leading to fear of critiques that may follow. Then there’s my opposing fear that no one will want to read it even if I finally get brave enough to share it.

I’m confessing all of this because today I learned of an opportunity that made my heart rev. Lysa TerKeurst (coming full circle now) is giving away 3 Cecil Murphy Scholarships to the 2010 She Speaks conference put on by Proverbs 31 Ministries. The She Speaks conference is designed to “equip women to become more effective at sharing the Word of God, multiplying our efforts to reach a hurting world with the life-transforming hope of Jesus.” There are three tracks to choose from, or you can mix and match your own!

For Speakers: After attending this conference you will be equipped to:
* Know how to develop a great message from start to finish.
* Understand what keeps an audience engaged and how to make your message memorable.
* Deliver your message in such a way that not only inspires your audience but motivates them to make life changes.
* Increase your number of booked speaking engagements by using proven marketing strategies.

For Writers: After attending this conference you will:
* Discover your unique writing voice and the mechanics of effective writing.
* Understand what publishers are looking for and how to write proposals that get their attention.
* Better understand how to build your writing portfolio by getting published in magazines.
* Know how to write a book that will impact your reader from start to finish.

For Women’s Ministry Leaders: You’ll have the opportunity to attend a Pre-Conference Intensive as well as the women’s ministry leadership track where you’ll learn how to:
* Build a dream team of ministry partners.
* Cast your vision for ministry in a way others will catch it.
* Distinguish God's direction for your ministry with confidence.
* Celebrate milestones of your ministry's effectiveness and keep your team inspired.

(information about the conference and scholarships taken from http://lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com/2010/03/she-speaks-scholarship-contest.html.)

I know that this conference would give me unique missionary training that I have not been able to find anywhere else. However, given that we are saving all our extra pennies for our mission, I am submitting this blog as my entry in hopes of winning one of the scholarships. You, too, can enter to win a scholarship by going to the above link. But hurry, entries are due by this Friday. Wouldn’t we have great fun attending together?!

More information about She Speaks 2010 can be found at http://www.shespeaksconference.com/index.htm.

Thoughts? Please comment…