Confessions of a Fidagredophobic

So, I’ve been helping Ethan study for the Regional Spelling Bee coming up this weekend. We’ve come across some interesting words made up of various Latin roots, particularly on the phobia list. I am happy to report that I am not omphalophobic (afraid of belly buttons); nor am I arachibutyrophobic (afraid of peanut butter sticking to the roof of my mouth). I could not quite find the right word to describe my current fear, so I made one up.

fid- faith
-gred- to walk or step

Confessional time. My name is Amy and I am a Fidagredophobic. I have some fears about stepping out in faith.

In February of 2009, I went to a women’s seminar where Lysa TerKeurst shared her testimony and challenged us to step out in radical faith. While speaking to her after the seminar, I asked, “But what if God is asking you to do something dangerous, like selling everything and moving to Kenya?” Her wise response was, “The safest place to be is in the very center of God’s will.”

For those of you who have followed this blog from its inception, you know what a profound impact Lysa has had on our family. It was that very night that we acknowledged our convictions and said a simple prayer, “Yes, Lord”. After taking that baby step of faith, doors immediately began opening towards Kenya.

Fast forward 13 months. We’ve now committed to a minimum of three years of ministry at the Kitale Church of Christ Children’s Home. We have raised 61% of our funds. We are planning to leave in August to begin training through YWAM’s Discipleship Training School. We just applied for passports for the kids.

In addition, God has used the past 13 months to peel away various layers of materialism, doubt, and fear. The idea of leaving my comfortable home no longer saddens me as it once did. The doubt of whether God has called the right people to do this job no longer plagues me. The idea of living in Africa with my three children no longer scares me to the same degree it once did. However, there are still layers on this onion, and my current fears orbit around my ability to share the Word of God effectively with those I am going to serve.

I have come to realize that in my “new life”, I will be called upon to speak to women on a regular basis as we reach out to the local community. But speaking in front of people makes me want to run for the Immodium AD! Since I won’t have easy access to medications in Kenya, I’m thinking I need to face my fears.

I have also felt compelled to write down our story, which is unfolding suspiciously into chapters, each followed by Bible Study Questions. I haven’t yet shared this publicly, for fear that someone may actually want to read what I’ve written…leading to fear of critiques that may follow. Then there’s my opposing fear that no one will want to read it even if I finally get brave enough to share it.

I’m confessing all of this because today I learned of an opportunity that made my heart rev. Lysa TerKeurst (coming full circle now) is giving away 3 Cecil Murphy Scholarships to the 2010 She Speaks conference put on by Proverbs 31 Ministries. The She Speaks conference is designed to “equip women to become more effective at sharing the Word of God, multiplying our efforts to reach a hurting world with the life-transforming hope of Jesus.” There are three tracks to choose from, or you can mix and match your own!

For Speakers: After attending this conference you will be equipped to:
* Know how to develop a great message from start to finish.
* Understand what keeps an audience engaged and how to make your message memorable.
* Deliver your message in such a way that not only inspires your audience but motivates them to make life changes.
* Increase your number of booked speaking engagements by using proven marketing strategies.

For Writers: After attending this conference you will:
* Discover your unique writing voice and the mechanics of effective writing.
* Understand what publishers are looking for and how to write proposals that get their attention.
* Better understand how to build your writing portfolio by getting published in magazines.
* Know how to write a book that will impact your reader from start to finish.

For Women’s Ministry Leaders: You’ll have the opportunity to attend a Pre-Conference Intensive as well as the women’s ministry leadership track where you’ll learn how to:
* Build a dream team of ministry partners.
* Cast your vision for ministry in a way others will catch it.
* Distinguish God's direction for your ministry with confidence.
* Celebrate milestones of your ministry's effectiveness and keep your team inspired.

(information about the conference and scholarships taken from http://lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com/2010/03/she-speaks-scholarship-contest.html.)

I know that this conference would give me unique missionary training that I have not been able to find anywhere else. However, given that we are saving all our extra pennies for our mission, I am submitting this blog as my entry in hopes of winning one of the scholarships. You, too, can enter to win a scholarship by going to the above link. But hurry, entries are due by this Friday. Wouldn’t we have great fun attending together?!

More information about She Speaks 2010 can be found at http://www.shespeaksconference.com/index.htm.

Thoughts? Please comment…

What Faith Can Do...

Wow.  It all started with a dream Amy had back in October.  She dreamt that Paul Colman was going to come and do a benefit concert to raise money for our future work in Kenya.  Jason laughed when she told him.  Almost as though his laugh was daring her, she decided, "I'm going to email Paul."  She ended up emailing his agent (seeing that Paul's email address is not public) and was stunned when his agent wrote back saying, "I have forwarded your email on to Paul.  He will be contacting you directly."  Wow.

It was exciting enough just to get a personal email from the very talented Paul Colman, and even more exciting that he was interested in helping us with our cause.  After negotiating the specifics and finally settling on a date, we needed to find a venue.  That was tough.  Our church could barely hold enough people to cover the costs of putting on the event.  Every church we tried was not willing to let us use their facility as non-members.  We even talked to the Concert Promoter at Spirit 105.3 who told us sadly that she thought it was an endeavor we would probably lose money on as "people are being very frugal with their entertainment dollars in this economy."  We wondered if doors were closing because we weren't supposed to pursue this dream for some reason.  So we took it to God. 

We prayed that, if God wanted us to follow through with this, a door for a venue would open within the next two days, and we would walk through it.  We realized that an open door did not guarantee we wouldn't lose money.  But we kept thinking about the parable of the talents.  We also knew that if God opened a door, He had a reason.  And it could be a reason much more important than money. 

Well, the very next day, Calvary Fellowship opened their doors to our event, and plans were again underway.  Scores of friends offered help with advertising, setting up, providing food, and many other tasks.  The Busby family also contacted their friend, Scott Krippayne, to see if he would be willing to open for Paul.  Scott graciously accepted the invitation and blessed us with his amazing gifts.

 

On-line ticket sales before the concert were low.  We had only raised 14% of what we needed to cover our costs through pre-sale tickets. Gulp. But God spoke to us throughout the process, "Seek first My Kingdom, and all these things shall be added unto you."  So we continued praying and trusting, and moving forward in faith.  

In hind sight, this is what we can tell you:  It was not all about the money.  In our minds, it started out as a fund-raiser.  But God also knew it would be a ministry opportunity.  The Spirit of God visibly descended over all of us as Scott brought us to a place of sacred worship through his songs.

We were able to invite a wide variety of friends and family, and I know several in particular who were deeply touched by Paul's candid testimony and sincerity of heart through his lyrics.  Seeds have been planted that God will continue to nurture.  That alone would have made the whole weekend worthwhile, even if we had lost every penny invested.  

We were able to spend some quality time with Paul that was very encouraging to us, and we hope was encouraging to him also.   Life is difficult, and Jesus promises that life with Him will be fraught with trials.  But He gives us brothers and sisters in the faith to encourage and lift eachother up.  The opportunity to minister and be ministered to was sweet fellowship that you cannot put a price tag on.

And as an added bonus, we did not lose money.  Quite the opposite.  At the end of the night, we had netted about $4300 in cash and pledges, with more pledges still coming in.  God is so good to us, and has once again fulfilled His promise that He will do more than we can ask or imagine.     

A special thank you to God, our Abba Father, who made this weekend possible.  And to Scott and Paul who took precious time away from their families to bless us.  And to the many friends and family who helped in various ways.  And to all of you who are helping us follow God's plan for our family by pledging your ongoing prayers and financial support.  May God bless your sacrifices in ways that go beyond what you can ask or imagine!

To view photos of this weekend, go to: http://picasaweb.google.com/scottjack1/PaulColemanBenefitConcert#